Awakening to what I Create

There are days when I wonder how awake I am when I look around and notice what I have actually created on my holideck!  That I have manifested it I have no doubt.  That it constantly shape sifts I am certain.  Shape shifts according to my degree of awakeness to my ability to focus on the huge intention that I carry.  That everything on it is of my creation I have no doubt...that I have been asleep when when I manifested some of it I have no doubt.  That my husband is some aspect of my consciousness I have no doubt   What I have yet to experience in my body is the genius in what he has created for himself and how together we have created that in the way we relate to each other.  That what he has created on his holideck certainly opens the door for him to move through his world very differently is pretty certain and perhaps that is what he wanted.  That I had been asleep for some time to the potential we had to create great RIG I have no doubt.  I didn't!  We didn't!  Had I given up on the possibility for us? What kind of habituated strategy is that?  Where is it present in other aspects of my life?  Could this strategy ever hinder the huge intention I hold to create my Emerging Future moment to moment to moment!  What if any connection is there between this habituated pattern and my current holideck?  What connection is there to my own collapsed space in my chest?  what connection is there to my lack of focus on the intention I hold for how I want to move through my world, the holideck I want to create.   Is the habituated pattern that I give up on mySelf that I go to sleep about what I want and out of fear go back to sleep, never go the extra mile, never open my mouth to speak my own truth.  Go to sleep on my own potential, keep my life small,  crush the spark before it can become a flame in case it burns.  What if the flame would just transform, transform a small and weeny life into the vast potential I know I have to be present to me.  Awake.  Vibrant and full of Breath!  Breath the sign of life.  Imagine!  Imagine what my life could be!