How shut down is shut down?

I know what I know and it's lots and at times I am so surprised that knowing all that doesn't help me to regain the state of ease and peace I so desire. I am in the moment realizing that knowing and living what I know are certainly two different things. I am learning that paying attention and being in the moment is the only way to de-code the messages from my body otherwise my body has to up the ante by talking louder. Sure I know all that stuff, from an intellectual point of view, about what is necessary in order for my body to function effectively. It needs stuff, air, sleep, food, down time and exercise although I have never been really good at that one! What I am re-learning moment to moment these past few days is to pay attention to what my body knows before it even comes to my attention. Not being able to breathe easily really gets my attention. So as my breathing comes into my awareness I notice and pay attention to how compressed my 50 trillion cells are and remember to say thank you for the wheeze my body creates as a way of bringing me back to the essentials, of reminding me what it needs to function effectively.
In the past few hours as I focus on breathing I have also paid attention to where in my body I find my breathe. I notice where my shoulders are, what my upper back muscles are doing and I use my thoughts to imagine that way I want to be breathing. That there is plenty of air for ME. That I am connected to and am that air and it can flow easily through my body nurturing and feeding it. By paying attention to how tight my body is and realize how much in protection I am in the moment.....imagine 50 trillion cells in lock down! As I, with intention shift my attention to the base of my spine I am beginning to re-claim a state of peace and flow and wonder of wonders my breathe flows....no struggle, no panic just ease and no wheeze!! How delightful to pay attention to flow and experience it so easily....now that is worth repeating! Oh and did I mention the monkey talk? Yes I paid a lot of attention to my surface dialogue and created a rote, mantra for the moment until I install new soft ware to re-program my mind to my new reality.......race horse running on the beach followed by a magnificent Irish Setter with all her feathers flying in the breeze now that's a picture to replace the donkeyness of an unwanted beast of burden and run free! gotta go I'm running free.................