Thanks for the Wheeze

Wow what a surprise!! In just a few short days I have come to appreciate my wheeze! Appreciate what you might ask since I sure asked myself the same question! And my answer is that my wheeze is my new best friend. It is my best friend because when I notice I am wheezing and I willing to pause, to pay attention and go inside and notice what what is going on in my body I often learn that all my 50 trillion cells are so tight it is no wonder I can hardly breathe and the wheeze is my body's way of getting my attention! So thank heaven for my willingness to do something different as otherwise I would do like I did for so many years revert to puffers that provide only minimal relief at any one time and only for a short time and then the routine starts all over again.

Now I am so different! When I become aware of the wheeze which is not always right away I stop, focus on dropping my breathe deeper into my body, sometimes I need to get up and move the restlessness in me and most times I need to pay attention to the thoughts that are invariably running around on a loop in my head. So far so good as my puffer use is down by 99% and I feel so good I have actually exercised this week!

I can only imagine the horizons that will open up out there when I open up in here.... And speaking of horizons the view from my deck at Peaceful Haven this morning is like something out of a magical, mystical movie! As I watched the solid bank of fog begin to part and lift and the mist is just hanging off the top of the trees and the whole scene is reflected in the water. Not a sound can be heard as it seems even the birds are in awe of the landscape unfolding for me this morning. The sky has patches of light as the morning awakes over the still water that absorbs and reflects. I explore the landscape as a metaphor unfolding before me in ever evolving clarity. Claim me. Claim me. I am free because I say I am no more waiting until anything happens. I am content because I say I am and because I have inside me everything I need now and if I need something else later I'll get it! It is not lost on me that since I declared myself free space has opened up and the "work" is still getting done! Imagine that! I can't wait to see what's next!