So it really is about love

Love. I hear lots and lots about love everywhere, in music, in books, in movies and on TV of course... talk about all kinds of love....good love, bad love, right love, wrong love, never ending love...always available love, understanding love...undying love. So many shapes, sizes and colours of love, designer love and even will all of that information about love how many of us really are at peace with our own knowing of love. Our own personal deep down, visceral unquestioning love of self. I know I continue to search for that self love, that acceptance, the unconditional I am okay just the way I am without exception...kind of acceptance that is so often the under pinning of the enduring novel. But never mind the novel, the story someone else writes to hook me, entertain and for a period of time carry me away from the minute day to day detail of my life. When I am not paying attention what is the real cost of the absence of the most fundamental and life sustaining energy of life? Love, self love. The life giving energy kind of love that is such second nature to me that I am totally unwilling to postpone going to the bathroom when I need to go, eating when I am hungry rather than on someone else's schedule resting when I am tired, quitting with work left on the desk rather than slugging it out in order to follow some old rule about never quitting when there is still work to do. Where did that rule come from ...I can't even recall and yet how many years have I consistently undervalued, under noticed and undeasigned my own resources to me! The resources that are my godforce, those unique and personal gifts that I give away so easily to those I care for..., to love deeply and with integrity the people I have chosen to be in my life. As I lay in our hospital emergency room last night I heard the bell toll....the message was loud and clear. Don't wait even a minute, start now this minute, do what you know you have been denying, that inside force that has been crying to get out for so long. Write the book....start with a new posting on the blog. Step up to the plate and shape your schedule open space to lay out the book...write something anything my heart needs it! Live in the moment, say no to and outside request just because I want to do something, anything it doesn't matter what just something that matters to me. Make no excuses I matter in my life, in fact I am the only thing that matters in my life and it sure as heck matters as much as what someone else wants from me. Yup I will be rude as being polite seems to mean that I don't count in my life. The wake up bell is ringing and guess what it is my bell and it has been ringing for me for a long time! I plan to show up and ring that darn bell exactly when I want to ring it. And now I am off to bed...I'm tired and just going to bed is how I am loving me right now. Stay tuned there is lots more to come!