Rude What's Rude

Just as I was ready to post my musings the other night I realized how tired I was and in the same moment I realized I just wanted to crawl into my nice comfy bed and pull the covers up to my chin and take a few nice deep realxing breaths. What I did next was so automatic in and of itself that a moment after I said what I said to myself I reallized that it was another huge opportunity for me to notice how deeply hard wired some of my behaviour really is! I also notice how quickly it happens. What I said to myself was not really anything to write home about....I said "I am going to be rude now and go to bed". Rude, what's rude about me wanting to go to bed? What is rude abut me stopping doing what I am doing and just go to bed! Having noticed what I noticed I have done some more noticing over the past few days and wondered how many other times I have stopped myself to ask permission from some unnamed person or thing or thought of someone else before I just did what I needed to do? Take care of myself, take care of myself in something as simply as just going to bed when I was tired. No dance, no permission just stop what I am doing, brush my teeth, wash and cream my face, I like to do that it keeps the wrinkles at bay....and go to bed.

So this week I am being rude....it must be working too as my spouse has complained about how hard I have beeen to get along with the past few days! I have a lot of practicing to do and I am up for it....I'll keep you posted.